My Sweet Ryan

Tonight in the car on the way home from Rob's Grandma's house, Ryan told me what he wanted to give me on Christmas next year.

"A hug and a kiss", he said.

That would be the best present ever.

My First Day

I crawled out of bed around 4:30 this morning, very tired, but excited about my day. I stepped outside around 5:20 into snow up to my knees. I started my car, came inside for boots, gathered my stuff, kissed Rob goodbye and ventured out into the cold.

My car got stuck on Vanderwerp. Yes, stuck. I had to get out, dig around my tires and try to move again. Nothing. I got out again, dug some more. Nothing. People passed me on the road...no one stopped. I can't publish the words that were going through my head. I couldn't believe that I was stuck in the snow on my first day of work.

Not to worry all...I finally succeeded in getting out of the snow. No thanks to all the men that passed me in their huge SUVs. I owe it all to my trusty snow brush. Together we cannot fail.

So, about work. It went very well. The day flew by, I learned a lot and I received a lot of praise from my preceptor. I loved that part. I realize that it was my first day and people are pretty soft on you when you are new, but I really enjoyed myself. The true test will come when I am no longer with my preceptor and am truly on my own. But, as of now, I am feeling much more confident.

I must, however, make a confession. It is a possibility that some of those words I was thinking back in my car also came out of my mouth. But, since no one stopped, no one will ever know.

Responsibility

So, my first day of work is tomorrow. Bright and early at 6am. No more staying up late reading, running errands during the day or going to lunch with Rob. My days of leisure are over. I am actually pretty excited about the whole thing. Well, not about the 6am, but about being a grownup again.

I am scared, though. Meeting new people, being a nurse (which, in reality, I know absolutely nothing about), and being a manager. One day at a time...one day at a time...

Mom and Ryan Day

Ryan and I got to spend the whole day together. We played Mancala (by Ryan's rules) this morning, then went to Mr. B's for lunch (Ryan said he likes it even better than AppleB's), and then went to the Barnes and Noble cafe for hot chocolate and stories. After naptime we had a little "dance party". The best part of my day was this little conversation in the parking lot at Mr. B's:

Ryan: "Mama, you are pretty"
Me: "Thank you...are you saying that because you want something?"
Ryan: "No...I just like you...I just love you"

That more than makes up for his fat comments a couple of days ago!

Oh, to be (almost) four

Ryan and I were cuddling together on the couch tonight and we had this conversation:

Ryan: "Mom, you have a baby in your belly"
Me: "No I don't"
Ryan (while pushing on my stomach): "Well it feels mushy. I think you are getting fat"
Me: Laugh and call Missy to tell her
Ryan: "I think you are getting fat because you are eating a lot of food"

This photo has nothing to do with this unfortunate conversation except to cheer me up. In this picture Rob and I were in Panama in 95 degree sunshine. Our friends and family were here in a 6 degree snowstorm.

My little "sister"

As much as I have felt like my life has been on hold for the past year, I am aware that my friend's lives have not. So much has changed in the past year, it's almost hard to believe. Relationships have changed, babies were born, babies had surgery, moms had surgery, moms had cancer, moms beat cancer. It seems that this year has been over all difficult, but there was some good to it as well.

One of the bright things of the year for me was seeing my little Danielle meet a guy, fall in love with said guy, and get engaged.

I have known Danielle for more than ten years (wow, that makes me feel old), maybe even fifteen. I have seen her grow from a little girl, to a teenager and now a young woman. I have seen her struggle, succeed, move to the east coast, move to the west coast and do almost everything in between.

She has lived with us twice, I've lived with her once. We will go months without talking for this reason or that, but when life brings us back together again, it seems like we haven't missed a beat.

I've seen her with a few different boys, most of who I thought weren't even close to being good enough for her, but I am thrilled with John. From the little time I have been able to spend with him, I can see that he loves her, she loves him and he treats her well.

On May 2, I will watch my little Danielle marry John. This is truely a happy ending for this part of Danielle's life, and I know it will be a wonderful beginning to the next.

She is my oldest friend (and, amazingly enough, the youngest). The great thing about being friends for so long is that one can dig up pretty embarrassing pictures. Don't worry, that will come (as soon as I can figure out how to use my scanner).

Danielle, I love you and am so happy for you. You will be a beautiful bride.

The results are in!

Well, I passed. I found out this morning. I called Missy first (of course), and she simply said "Well, I *knew* that". (Thanks for believing in me...)

I thought I'd be more excited. But I think I am experiencing some residual stress and it may take a few days for everything to sink in. Or maybe I just like to be stressed out.

I start working next week. I'll start on first shift for orientation and then my normal working schedule will be third shift. I'll work 12 hour shifts, so only three per week. I'm pretty scared about starting this job. Not knowing anyone, and, let's face it, I really don't know anything about nursing yet. I know what the books say, but real life is about to start. I can't wait!

It's Over...

My test is finished. But now I have to wait for my results. At least a couple of days.

This is 2008 people...haven't you ever heard of computerized processing?!?!?

It all comes down to this...

Here I am. Two days before the big test. And by big test, I mean the NCLEX. I have been preparing off and on since mid November, but have been working especially hard the last few days. I'm scared.

Some days I feel fine about this test, but others, like today, I feel like I am doomed to fail. I know I could have studied more. I could have paid better attention while I was in school. Classes seem like such a distant memory now, and I just can't remember everything I think I should. Things like Addison's and Cushing's. Is it the potassium or sodium that is lower in Addison's as compared to Cushing's. I knew this like my own name in school, but now it is starting to blur.

But I will keep studying. Keep taking practice tests. I am half tempted to reschedule my test, to give myself a few more weeks to study, but that probably wouldn't help. I know I would have this same anxiety no matter when I took the test.

I look forward to Friday. I may not know if I passed or failed by then, but at least I'll be able to relax. But I am sure I'll find something else to worry about...

Fire Up Chips!

The day after Christmas, Rob and I went to the Motor City Bowl in Detroit. We originally purchased tickets assuming the Spartans would be there, but at the last minute, the Spartans were chosen for another bowl.

So, Rob and I, along with my brother and his roommate from college, watched Central Michigan battle Purdue.

Within the first few minutes, it was evident that Central was going to get their you-know-whats kicked. Each of us there though about leaving more than once by halftime.



However, not too long into the second half, Central showed up and the game ended up being very exciting. It was clear by the middle of the fourth quarter that the winner of the game would be whatever team ended up with the ball last.

And that, sadly, was Purdue. They won by a field goal in the last seconds of the game.






But, it wasn't a total loss. I enjoyed a jumbo hot dog and a Bud Light. And both schools had awesome marching bands!