Secret Life of Babies

Oh, and one more thing...

2009-04-07T15:35:00.002-05:00

I just spent a few minutes looking through the blogs of my friends and it made me think of two things...

1. How much I miss them. My life is so crazy right now, I have not spent much time with anyone. I know they are understanding and supportive, but I still miss them.

2. How much I want one more baby. I have always wanted three, but the intense desire started again when I watched Eli come into the world. The desire comes back when I hold him and feed him. The desire came back today when I saw pictures of Sophie, Maya, Will, Isaac, Adeline, Andrew and Gertie.

There is one problem, though. Rob does not share the intense desire for one more. Ryan and Noah do. Ryan keeps telling me that after I finish school, he will start Kindergarten and I will have an egg in my belly. Hopefull Rob will come around. Or I may have to take Eli home and never return him...

I'm getting close

2009-04-07T15:22:00.002-05:00

One more week of clinicals, one more week of micro lab, a few more tests. The end of my first semester is near. I am getting lazy, not studying as much, so I will spend the next couple of weeks cramming, which is not usually my style. I have the first week of May off. I hope to be refreshed and ready for my last semester. Only 12 weeks. I think I can do it.

Rob is being amazing to me. He has taken on a lot of the parenting responsibility while I am in class or at work or finishing homework. The poor boy has been so neglected by his wife. I am sorry for that, but also thankful for his understanding.

My house is a mess. For some reason the maid has not been showing up or doing laundry...I must fire her for that. Many would be dumbfounded if they were to see my house right now. But, something's gotta give!

So, aparently I cant do it...

2009-02-10T16:46:00.003-05:00

After spending a weekend of sleeping an obscene about of hours and crying almost as much, I (along with the help of my ever so wise husband) decided that something has to go. My kids, husband and school are not an option, I already never see my friends, so that left work. Not to worry, I didn't actually quit. I just changed my status from full time to per diem. This means that I am only required to work 2 shifts per month. Those of you who know me know that I will probably far exceed that amount, but I wont have the stress of being required to work 3 shifts a week. (My goal is to work every other weekend and some daytime hour here and there during the week).

I also did myself a favor and went to the doctor for some psychiatric help. Hopefully those drugs she gave me will get me through the next 5 months. (No, she did not prescribe marijuana).

So while I will probably continue to ignore all of my relationships for a while (sorry about that), I no longer feel so much like driving my car off a bridge.

Things have gotten downright emotional....

2009-02-03T16:11:00.002-05:00

It's true. I cry now. Several times in the last week, in fact. I cried last week in my bosses office (over nothing), I cried all the way home from work Sunday morning (over nothing), I cried the other night in bed (over nothing). I believe the combination of not much sleep and stress has gotten to me.

We took our first exam in NUR212, and I did manage to get an A. I feel a little less stressed now. But I still have quite a long way to go (probably with a lot more crying).

What I am wondering now is if chronic crying is an acceptable diagnosis for medicinal marijuana...

2 Weeks Down

2009-01-16T16:19:00.003-05:00

So, I have (just about) made it through the first two weeks. I am even still alive. Things are going OK, but it is hard to be away from the boys so much. Rob is doing an incredible job with them, though.

Thank you all for your encouragement.

July 29, 2009

2009-01-08T15:39:00.002-05:00

I am looking forward to this date. It is the day that the summer semester at MCC ends. Until that date, I have class 4-5 days per week and will work 36 hours every weekend on 3rd shift.

Many days I feel like I can do this thing...I so badly want to finish my RN that I am willing to go through this "hell" to get there soon. Other days I feel like I am never going to make it.

I have a great support system in place. Rob is great with the boys, so I know they will be fine. My parents are willing to help out when needed. Amber is being flexible with us. My friends are being very encouraging. So I think I can do this.

But I will be counting the days.

Ryan's first soccer game

2008-10-23T18:14:00.001-05:00

One Week Post Op

2008-09-24T18:31:00.002-05:00

It's been a rough week. While they kept me *well* medicated in the hospital, it wore off about six hours after I returned home on Friday. It was pain like I've never felt before...who knew that the pain from the first surgery could get worse.

I suffered through Saturday, and finally called my doctor (he gave me cell and home numbers) and told him my woes. He stared me on Oxycontin (basicly oral morphine). It is an extended release medication that I take every 12 hours. It has not taken all the pain away, but has helped a lot.

This surgery has been much better to handle emotionally than the last, and I am so thankful for that. I have a follow up appointment on Monday and am hoping to have some good news.

Rob continues to be a great support, but they boys still seem a little "off". I am ready for things to get back to normal, especially since Ryan starts soccer on Saturday. I am ready to pick Noah up and put my boys to bed. I am ready to sleep in my own bed. But I also know that my body has to heal in its own time, so for now I am trying to be content to have so much time to read.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support through all this.

Still Here

2008-09-18T12:16:00.002-05:00

My surgery went well yesterday. A rod about 15 inches long was placed in my femur along with 3 pins to hold the rod in place. I woke up in recovery in agony, but have been given some extra good drugs and am having much better pain control than I had after my last surgery.

Today the goal is rest and pain control. My doctor wants to keep me one extra night, so I wont be going home until tomorrow. He started me on coumadin, which makes me feel like I am 72 instead of 27, but apparently there is an increased risk of blood clots with these rod things.

I found out today that this rod, which I thought would be staying in permanently, will be coming out in about a year. But it is worth it if I am walking by October instead of laying on the couch.

By the way, I am so thankful for this extra night in the hospital...I can't get enough of this hosptial food!!!

Here we go again

2008-09-15T16:20:00.002-05:00

CT Scan on Friday.

Dr appointment Monday morning.

Surgery Wednesday evening.

It's true. The doctor confirmed the fracture in my leg and feels that it is important to reinforce the bone by placing a rod and some pins in that leg. So surgery will be Wednesday at 5pm. Yes, there will be some intense pain in the beginning, but I should be feeling much better much faster. I should even be able to ditch the crutches fairly soon. But, passing through a metal detector may present a problem...

Sunday Night

2008-09-14T21:38:00.003-05:00

It's been a rainy fall weekend, perfect for sitting in PJ's until noon (or maybe a little after), reading books, watching movies and watching football...all of which we did this weekend.

Tonight Ang and Ryan came over bearing gifts of food. Ryan's homemade meatballs over spaghetti with salad and garlic bread. And, we drank the first Apple Cider of the season. I love when friends bring food and stay for dinner.

The kids played, and by kids I mean not only Ryan, Noah and Maya, but Rob and Ryan played Mario Kart on the Wii after dinner.

It was a great end to a nice, relaxing weekend.

Happy Birthday Ang!

2008-09-10T20:21:00.001-05:00

This might be a first

2008-09-09T07:20:00.001-05:00

Dinner last night...

I made tacos with spanish rice.

Both boys ate. Neither one complained about not liking what we were eating. Both asked for seconds. Noah even asked for thirds, fourths and fifths of the rice.

We ate in peace and harmony.

It was beautiful.

My Favorite Thing #2

2008-09-05T10:57:00.001-05:00

here it is...

It did not go well

2008-09-04T10:36:00.002-05:00

My appointment, that is. No, there will be no throwing away of the crutches. No, there will be no going back to work. In fact there *will* be more testing and possibly more surgery.

I had an xray taken during my appointment and the doc did not like what he saw. I now possibly have a fracture in the surgical area. I will have a CT scan on the 12th to determine exactly what he saw on the xray and then see him again on the 15th. He said that I may have to have a rod and pins inserted to hold that area together. Aparently, if it is fractured, he seems to thing it was from the large size of the cyst and the trauma he inflicted by the drilling, packing, etc.

Needless to say, I am really bummed. I was certain I would be back to work this week. I was even hoping to be walking. He even banned me from physical therapy, so no more pool for now.

Even though I am getting really sick of this couch, I am even more sad for Rob. He has been doing so much and has so much responsibility with the boys and house and meals (which mostly consist of cereal and PB&J, but that is perfectly fine with my boys). Pray for his sanity. I love him for never complaining and still being super supportive of me.

My Favorite Thing

2008-09-02T18:18:00.002-05:00

Things have been slowly getting better. We spent the weekend at my parents house with my brother and his family. Ryan, Rob and his cousins camped outside in a tent. I slept inside...I loathe camping.

I was sore much of the weekend, but I can already tell that the aqua therapy has improved the strength and range of motion in my leg. Tomorrow is the big appointment. The doc will take another xray to see how things are progressing and I will be on my knees (well, not literally...I can't quite make it down that far yet) begging to walk without crutches. I will also find out if I can go back to work on light duty, which I am sure will be the case.

Anyways, my new favorite thing is a football jersey from the Muskegon Big Reds. My dad swears it is only 12 years old, but it was his in high school when he played football. #82. It has been hanging in their garage for a while and was given to me this weekend. Thanks, dad!

Update

2008-08-24T22:22:00.002-05:00

Getting out this weekend (to Eric's wedding and then to my parent's house on Sunday) wore on my body, but did wonders for my mind. It was hard to get out of the house to begin with, but it was well worth it. I feel renewed in a way...almost a member of society again. It was great to see and connect with friends, especially ones that I love so much.

The wedding was beautiful. I wish I had pictures to post, but I am still not great at remembering to bring my camera everywhere. You'll have to check Angela's blog for that. She, of course, remembered to bring hers.

I start "aqua" therapy tomorrow. I am hoping it will help with the range of motion in my leg and help lessen the muscle spasms. I am on my way to actually walking again. I can hardly wait.

At Grandma's House

2008-08-22T13:21:00.002-05:00

Getting There

2008-08-21T21:04:00.002-05:00

So, it has been a little over two weeks. I am still "resting" as much as I know how. I am starting to have some pain relief, but have been battling some major depression. I was originally going to be able to go back to work on light duty after two weeks, but at my appointment on Monday, the doctor said I had to be off at least another two weeks. But I start physical therapy next week, which should help mentally and physically.

Although this has been a very difficult experience, I have been blessed in so many ways. I know that I have some great friends who love me and have done some amazing things for me. I have been able to spend some quality time with my mom and have read a couple of books. I know I should be enjoying this time and just relax, but that is just something I don't really know how to do.

Rob has been great with the boys, taking on most of the parenting responsibilities. I am very grateful for his support.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement.

Sofa

2008-08-11T19:10:00.002-05:00

Ahh, the sofa...

That is where I ahve been spending most of my time since I got home frome the hospital. Most of the time I am pretty out of it from the pain medication and muscle relaxers, but I am just coherent enough right now to update (so don't mind the typos).

Surgery went well, but I am having a large amount of swelling causing in intense amount of pain. The crappy part is that I can not take any anti-inflammatory meds because it will interfere with the bone healing. So I am stuck with this part for a while.

Rob has been great. Taking care of me, the boys and other domestic duties. I sense his stress and feel frustrated that I can't help.

I can't even begin to thank Angela for coming over to help me shower and for bringig me dinner. Thanks for your care and concern.

And thanks to Missy cleaning my house and also helping me shower. You're awesome.

I am greateful to all of those who have sent notes of encouragement. It really means a lot.

So, that medication is kicking in and I can barely keep my eyes open. Mom, can't wait to spend some more time with you on Wednesday. Tanks for taking time off work...

Things are Better

2008-06-18T05:09:00.002-05:00

Well, here's the news.

It's not melanoma, thank God, but it is a blood clot. Still not great, but not immediately life threatening.

Now we need to get him to go to his doctor to figure out the underlying causes.

He may loose total vision in that eye, but we have to wait and see.

I love waiting...

2008-06-11T19:26:00.003-05:00

On my way home from work this morning, I called my mom. I love making phone calls in the car. It makes me feel like I am multi-tasking.

Anyways, she told me that my dad is having a problem. I thought they got into a fight or something, but then she continued on. Aparently he went to the eye doctor (which is a miracle, he HATES to go to any kind of doctor) because he was having some trouble seeing out of one of his eyes. She started out saying he has partial blindness, but then told me that he was being sent to a specialist right away because they thought he may have melanoma of the retina.

I pretty much went deaf at that point and felt a little queasy.

After I got up from "sleeping" today I called and talked to him. He said that he they wanted him to see a specialist right away and had to call several doctors to find someone to get him in immediately. He goes tomorrow morning to get an expert opinion.

He *must* be OK. We have spent the last 10 years building a pretty darn good relationship. I think he is a pretty cool guy. I love talking to him and, although I don't agree with all of his opinions, I want to know what he thinks. He is not perfect, but I seem to be pretty forgiving of his flaws. I think he can do pretty much anything (except maybe dance), fix anything and "create"anything.

I am trying not to let my mind run with the possibilities, but it is hard not to...

I'm a real person

2008-06-04T20:51:00.002-05:00

I am off from orientation and work starting Tuesday. I will have my own patient load, make my own decisions, do my own paperwork, etc. It is scary and exciting all at the same time. My coworkers work together really well, so I know if I come across a problem, I will always have someone to turn to.

I am still scared of vents and telemetry, mostly because I don't know much about them. But I happen to know this awesome ICU nurse that could probably give me some pointers.

The down side to all of this excitement is that I am getting sick again. Sore throat, cough, sore chest. It's June for goodness sake, but I am in a whole new environment with a whole new set of "bugs", so it only makes sense that I will have to suffer for a while.

I have tonight and tomorrow night off, so the boys and I are hanging out together tomorrow. I have high hopes for the park and the back yard, but I am not sure the weather will agree with my plans. I'll just have to hope...

It's Official

2008-05-21T20:13:00.003-05:00

I'm having surgery.

I have been having tests (X-Ray's, Bone Scan, MRI) and seeing specialists about a mass on the inside of my femur. I finally have confirmation that it is most likely a cyst, not a tumor, but it is large enough that it has to be "removed".

I got the full scoop today. The doc has to cut a window on one side of my bone, "scoop" out the components of the cyst and pack it with bone from a bone bank. I am thankful for bone banks. The alternative was to donate my own bone from my hip, which would make the surgery and recovery more extensive.

Recovery time, if all goes well, is 6-8 weeks. I got a prescription for crutches today. I have to use those bad boys for 6 weeks, then possibly a cane. (I am not even kidding).

Surgery is scheduled for August 5th.

She did it!

2008-05-05T14:21:00.002-05:00

On Friday, May 2nd, Danielle married John.

It was a beautiful ceremony. Everything was perfect. Even the weather cooperated.

After the ceremony, we celebrated at the Harbor Town Yacht Club. There was dinner, dancing, cake and champagne punch.

Danielle and John are in Cancun now, and will be there the rest of the week. Then she will be settling in at their home in Fruitport. How long until she moves? Only time will tell...

Zombie

2008-04-10T01:22:00.002-05:00

This third shift thing has me all messed up. I am always tired during the day...zombie-like...and seem to perk up in the middle of the night. Like tonight. It's 2:22am, and I am up. I cleaned the bathroom, wrote out some bills, unloaded the dishwasher, did some laundry, and now I am not quite sure what to do. I really need to vaccuum, but I am not sure that is such a good idea.

I am still loving being a nurse. There are things about *where* I work that are frustrating, but aside from that, things are going well. I am learning a lot, and work with another nurse (she has the same schedule as I do) who is becoming a good friend. I have been working too much, though, but have promised not to pick up any additional shifts in the next two months. I will miss the overtime on my paycheck, but I will love the extra time at home.

The boys are super excited about this new weather we are having. They love to be outside. Rob even took them out for ice cream the other night. Ryan really wants to go to the zoo and the beach, but I tell him that he has to wait until it gets warmer. He asks almost everyday and yesterday told me (in his whiny voice) "but mom, it is taking so long!". I know Ryan, I know.

Happy Birthday Ryan!

2008-03-03T23:42:00.004-05:00

Since this was Ryan's first official birthday, we had to make a big deal about it.

Hence, the birthday party at Chuck E Cheese.

Ryan invited his friends and cousins (and his brother) to come and play on Friday night to celebrate turning four.

The kids had a ton of fun. The adults all seemed a little stressed out. But it was a great night.

I can't believe my baby is four!

my new favorite song

2008-02-23T19:33:00.003-05:00

there ain't no reasons things are this way
its how they've always been and they intend to stay
i can't explain why we live this way
we do it every day

preachers on the podiums speaking to saints
prophets on the sidewalks begging for change
old ladies laughing from the fire escape, cursing my name
i got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same
a window and a pigeon with a broken wing
you can spend your whole life working for something
just to have it taken away

people walk around pushing back their desks
wearing pay checks like necklaces and bracelets
talking 'bout nothing, not thinking about death
their every little heart beat, every little breath

people walk a tight rope on a razor's edge
carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons
it could be a bomb or a bullet or a pin
or a thought or a word or a sentence.

there ain't no reason things are this way
its how they've always been and they intend to stay
i don't know why i say the things i say,
but i say them anyway.

but love will come set me free
love will come set me free
i do believe
love will come set me free
i know it will
love will come set me free

yes prison walls still standing tall
some things never change at all
keep on building prisons, gonna fill them all.
keep on building bombs gonna drop them all

working your fingers bare to the bone
breaking your back, make you sell your soul
like a lung is filled with coal, suffocating slow
the wind blows wild and i may move
but politicians lie and i'm not fooled
you don't need no reason or a 3 piece suit
to argue the truth

the air in my skin and the world under my toes
labor is stitched into the fabric of my clothes
chaos and commotion wherever i go
love, i try to follow

but love will come set me free
love will come set me free
i do believe
love will come set me free
i know it will
love will come set me free

yesthere ain't no reason things are this way
its how they've always been and they intend to stay
i can't explain why we live this way; we do it everyday.

-brett dennen

Busy Life

2008-02-06T13:14:00.000-05:00

I finally have a day off. I have worked every day since last Monday. I haven't done much today. Bills, nap, dishes and I've been watching a little TV. It's nice. But it is back to work tomorrow.

I still love my job. I had a couple of really stressful nights, but I am learning a lot. And I have gotten a lot of compliments from managament, which I love =)

The boys are doing well, staying healthy and definatley staying busy. I think that Noah is having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to me being gone so much after being home for almost three months. But he is spending some quality time with his "na-na" (his word for daddy). We are going to Chuck E Cheese tonight together. Ryan had a checklist that he completed, so we get 10 free tokens when we go. It should be fun!

My Sweet Ryan

2008-01-25T20:48:00.000-05:00

Tonight in the car on the way home from Rob's Grandma's house, Ryan told me what he wanted to give me on Christmas next year.

"A hug and a kiss", he said.

That would be the best present ever.

My First Day

2008-01-22T19:31:00.000-05:00

I crawled out of bed around 4:30 this morning, very tired, but excited about my day. I stepped outside around 5:20 into snow up to my knees. I started my car, came inside for boots, gathered my stuff, kissed Rob goodbye and ventured out into the cold.

My car got stuck on Vanderwerp. Yes, stuck. I had to get out, dig around my tires and try to move again. Nothing. I got out again, dug some more. Nothing. People passed me on the road...no one stopped. I can't publish the words that were going through my head. I couldn't believe that I was stuck in the snow on my first day of work.

Not to worry all...I finally succeeded in getting out of the snow. No thanks to all the men that passed me in their huge SUVs. I owe it all to my trusty snow brush. Together we cannot fail.

So, about work. It went very well. The day flew by, I learned a lot and I received a lot of praise from my preceptor. I loved that part. I realize that it was my first day and people are pretty soft on you when you are new, but I really enjoyed myself. The true test will come when I am no longer with my preceptor and am truly on my own. But, as of now, I am feeling much more confident.

I must, however, make a confession. It is a possibility that some of those words I was thinking back in my car also came out of my mouth. But, since no one stopped, no one will ever know.

Responsibility

2008-01-21T17:13:00.001-05:00

So, my first day of work is tomorrow. Bright and early at 6am. No more staying up late reading, running errands during the day or going to lunch with Rob. My days of leisure are over. I am actually pretty excited about the whole thing. Well, not about the 6am, but about being a grownup again.

I am scared, though. Meeting new people, being a nurse (which, in reality, I know absolutely nothing about), and being a manager. One day at a time...one day at a time...

Mom and Ryan Day

2008-01-17T22:24:00.000-05:00

Ryan and I got to spend the whole day together. We played Mancala (by Ryan's rules) this morning, then went to Mr. B's for lunch (Ryan said he likes it even better than AppleB's), and then went to the Barnes and Noble cafe for hot chocolate and stories. After naptime we had a little "dance party". The best part of my day was this little conversation in the parking lot at Mr. B's:

Ryan: "Mama, you are pretty"
Me: "Thank you...are you saying that because you want something?"
Ryan: "No...I just like you...I just love you"

That more than makes up for his fat comments a couple of days ago!

Oh, to be (almost) four

2008-01-15T21:19:00.000-05:00

Ryan and I were cuddling together on the couch tonight and we had this conversation:

Ryan: "Mom, you have a baby in your belly"
Me: "No I don't"
Ryan (while pushing on my stomach): "Well it feels mushy. I think you are getting fat"
Me: Laugh and call Missy to tell her
Ryan: "I think you are getting fat because you are eating a lot of food"

This photo has nothing to do with this unfortunate conversation except to cheer me up. In this picture Rob and I were in Panama in 95 degree sunshine. Our friends and family were here in a 6 degree snowstorm.

My little "sister"

2008-01-13T20:49:00.001-05:00

As much as I have felt like my life has been on hold for the past year, I am aware that my friend's lives have not. So much has changed in the past year, it's almost hard to believe. Relationships have changed, babies were born, babies had surgery, moms had surgery, moms had cancer, moms beat cancer. It seems that this year has been over all difficult, but there was some good to it as well.

One of the bright things of the year for me was seeing my little Danielle meet a guy, fall in love with said guy, and get engaged.

I have known Danielle for more than ten years (wow, that makes me feel old), maybe even fifteen. I have seen her grow from a little girl, to a teenager and now a young woman. I have seen her struggle, succeed, move to the east coast, move to the west coast and do almost everything in between.

She has lived with us twice, I've lived with her once. We will go months without talking for this reason or that, but when life brings us back together again, it seems like we haven't missed a beat.

I've seen her with a few different boys, most of who I thought weren't even close to being good enough for her, but I am thrilled with John. From the little time I have been able to spend with him, I can see that he loves her, she loves him and he treats her well.

On May 2, I will watch my little Danielle marry John. This is truely a happy ending for this part of Danielle's life, and I know it will be a wonderful beginning to the next.

She is my oldest friend (and, amazingly enough, the youngest). The great thing about being friends for so long is that one can dig up pretty embarrassing pictures. Don't worry, that will come (as soon as I can figure out how to use my scanner).

Danielle, I love you and am so happy for you. You will be a beautiful bride.

The results are in!

2008-01-12T13:18:00.000-05:00

Well, I passed. I found out this morning. I called Missy first (of course), and she simply said "Well, I *knew* that". (Thanks for believing in me...)

I thought I'd be more excited. But I think I am experiencing some residual stress and it may take a few days for everything to sink in. Or maybe I just like to be stressed out.

I start working next week. I'll start on first shift for orientation and then my normal working schedule will be third shift. I'll work 12 hour shifts, so only three per week. I'm pretty scared about starting this job. Not knowing anyone, and, let's face it, I really don't know anything about nursing yet. I know what the books say, but real life is about to start. I can't wait!

It's Over...

2008-01-10T10:17:00.000-05:00

My test is finished. But now I have to wait for my results. At least a couple of days.

This is 2008 people...haven't you ever heard of computerized processing?!?!?

It all comes down to this...

2008-01-08T14:56:00.000-05:00

Here I am. Two days before the big test. And by big test, I mean the NCLEX. I have been preparing off and on since mid November, but have been working especially hard the last few days. I'm scared.

Some days I feel fine about this test, but others, like today, I feel like I am doomed to fail. I know I could have studied more. I could have paid better attention while I was in school. Classes seem like such a distant memory now, and I just can't remember everything I think I should. Things like Addison's and Cushing's. Is it the potassium or sodium that is lower in Addison's as compared to Cushing's. I knew this like my own name in school, but now it is starting to blur.

But I will keep studying. Keep taking practice tests. I am half tempted to reschedule my test, to give myself a few more weeks to study, but that probably wouldn't help. I know I would have this same anxiety no matter when I took the test.

I look forward to Friday. I may not know if I passed or failed by then, but at least I'll be able to relax. But I am sure I'll find something else to worry about...

Fire Up Chips!

2008-01-07T13:54:00.001-05:00

The day after Christmas, Rob and I went to the Motor City Bowl in Detroit. We originally purchased tickets assuming the Spartans would be there, but at the last minute, the Spartans were chosen for another bowl.

So, Rob and I, along with my brother and his roommate from college, watched Central Michigan battle Purdue.

Within the first few minutes, it was evident that Central was going to get their you-know-whats kicked. Each of us there though about leaving more than once by halftime.

However, not too long into the second half, Central showed up and the game ended up being very exciting. It was clear by the middle of the fourth quarter that the winner of the game would be whatever team ended up with the ball last.

And that, sadly, was Purdue. They won by a field goal in the last seconds of the game.

But, it wasn't a total loss. I enjoyed a jumbo hot dog and a Bud Light. And both schools had awesome marching bands!

Merry Chirstmas

2007-12-29T21:43:00.001-05:00

Ryan, Noah, Melissa, Elizabeth, Audreanna, Jonathan, Joshua, Jordan, Maia, Hunter, Hayden, Kaden, Kortney, Livinia...all at Grandma Debbie's and Grandpa Tom's house. We had a great time opening presents and eating food. Mmmmm.

Thought for the day...

2007-12-18T12:43:00.000-05:00

Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.

-Dwight Schrute

I can't deny it...

2007-12-10T16:44:00.000-05:00

I've got issues. I was thinking today about something I did this weekend, and I am a little disturbed by it.

I organized the presents. Not to wrap or to decide who was getting what. I organized the presents under the tree by date of Christmas Party.

In the back are the presents for the party with Rob's mom on the 30th. In front of them are the presents for the party with Rob's dad on the 29th. I front of those presents are the gifts for our boys to open on Christmas day and in the very front are the presents for the party with my mom and dad on the 23rd.

Not quite sure what got into me, but I had this overwhelming urge to take every single present out and complete this "project".

I guess it could be worse. I could have organized them in alphabetic order of gift. Actually, that sounds like a good idea....

Cookies

2007-12-08T08:52:00.000-05:00

Missy and I completed our first annual Christmas Cookie Baking Day yesterday. We spent about three and a half hours baking peanut butter blossoms, spritz and those biscotti looking things.

Missy is a great cookie baking teacher. After learning what she had to teach about cookie making, I feel I can conquer the world.

Yippee!!!

2007-12-05T15:18:00.000-05:00

I got a job. I had interviews on Monday and Tuesday and was offered both jobs. I decided on a job in Muskegon at Knollview. It is a very exciting opportunity and they seem to be encouraging of education and growth.

I still have to take and pass my boards and can't start working until then. But, I get to hang out for the next month or so before I start my new job. Oh, and I still have gym class...

My Favorite Kind of Day

2007-12-01T16:24:00.000-05:00

Today was the first birthday of Matthias Morse. We went there for a party, ate great pizza, got to see our long lost friends and, of course, we ate cake (of the cupcake variety).

After the party, we came home and took naps. Noah didn't sleep very long, so we got to have some one-on-one time together. Ryan finally emerged from his room and wanted a snack. We decided to make popcorn.

The boys are now sitting in their chairs in the living room, eating popcorn and watching The Polar Express. It's snowing outside. I can see it out the window right behind the boys. The Christmas Tree is lit up in the corner of the room and I have a cinnamon candle burning. Rob is snuggled on the couch.

Soon Anna and Matthias will come over and eat dinner with the boys while Phil and Missy go to a Christmas party. I am feeling so lucky.

Now that Thanksgiving is over...

2007-11-26T20:27:00.001-05:00

It's time for Christmas.

I was able to decorate this weekend and even finished my shopping.

Now hopefully I can relax and enjoy the season. (if only I knew how to relax...)

I had so much fun shopping with Missy the day after Thanksgiving. We got up early, waited outside of Target in the freezing cold for over a half an hour. We pushed our way into the store, threw our cart at a pregnant girl (hey, it's her fault for getting in the way) and ran to get our treasures. Ok, so it wasn't *that* dramatic, but it was a lot of fun.

I was able to go to Birch Run with my mom at the end of the weekend and help her with her shopping. She did some major damage. We filled my tiny car with boxes and bags and I could barely see out the back window. I think she is close to being done as well. We had good food, good conversation and lots of laughs.

I love this time of year!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T14:40:00.001-05:00

I can't believe it is here. Thanksgiving Day. This year seems to have gone so fast. We are at my parents house right now with Jack and Danielle and kids. The kids are having so much fun playing together. Noah is in an especially great mood and is so cute to watch.

The women got the turkey ready, peeled potatoes, prepared some snacks. The men are wathing the Loins loose.

It is so nice to not have homework hanging over my head. I finally feel like I can relax. It's great.

I am eagerly awaiting Missy's phone call. She is at work today, but we need to talk and get a plan of action together for tomorrow morning. We are braving the crowds and starting our Christmas shopping bright and early. It is one of my favorite mornings all year. I also look forward to going out to breakfast. I am a big fan of food.

Speaking of food, I have to get going. I still have to make the corn bread pudding and get it in the oven. Can't let the men down.

I did it!!

2007-11-20T22:22:00.001-05:00

Yes, I am finished. All of my tests, projects, preparations are a thing of the past. Well, almost. I still have those pesky State Boards to pass, but nothing more at Grand Rapids Community College. My plan??? Sleep. Spend time with my boys. Get some projects completed around the house. Yes, I will get a job, but I am trying not to get too worked up about that at least until I have a test date for my boards. I would like a small break.

The rest of the family is hanging in there. Ryan got sick Sunday night (he always seems to get sick before my finals) but he is doing much better.

I took Noah to the specialist today and I finally feel like we have some answers. Most of his problems stem from having RSV last February. The doctor said "RSV induced asthma". He has some sort of plan formulated in his mind. I am not sure all that he is thinking, but I do know what we have to do. Increase his medications (not what I had hoped to hear), but supposedly doing that now means getting rid of them later.

I have to have a CT scan of my head. No, not because I am crazy, but apparently it is not normal to always have a headache.

Other than that, things are great. I am looking forward to some much needed time with my family, reconnecting with my friends and getting some rest. Until I go back to school, that is.

We're almost there...

2007-11-08T08:29:00.001-05:00

Yes we are. Only seven days of class left. But we are tired. At our clinical site, you can tell us apart from everyone else. We are the ones with blood shot eyes and expressionless faces. We go about our day, determined to do everything correctly, but in the back of our minds we are only thinking about one thing...sleep. If only we could sleep. But there is no time for that. In the next week we still have so much to do. We have prep for our new patients, we have a paper due, we have a presentation to prepare for (of course, none of us have started it yet), we have online assessments to take and, of course, we have a final exam. All of that around 35 hours of class/clinical time during the week. We desperately try not to neglect our families, but we do.

Yes, you can see who we are. Looking down the hallways, we are there. Crawling through our day, desperate to make it to bedtime. We are almost excited about the idea of completing our program, but we can't think about that right now. So much to do. Not enough time.

We drink coffee, tea, diet coke and eat anything that we think may give us the slightest bit of energy. It usually doesn't help, but it is always worth a try. Anything that may help us reach our goal: getting to next Friday, alive, awake and successful.

Dinnertime!

2007-11-06T19:32:00.000-05:00

Missy, Anna and Matthias came over tonight. The kids played for a while, then ate dinner together. They talked about religion and politics, and still left the table as friends.

I love having them come over. My best friend and her babies, spending time with me and my babies. I hope they will be friends forever.

Fun at the Symphony

2007-11-05T20:52:00.000-05:00

Friday night Rob and I went on the longest date recorded in our history. It lasted from 6pm until after midnight (yes, way past my bedtime). We went to dinner at the 750 Grill, went to the symphony concert and then went with Ang and Ryan to the City Cafe for appetizers and dessert. I also had my first Cosmopolitan. Can't really say I really liked it, but for $6.25, I finished it.

It was a fun night. Nice to spend so much time with Rob, wonderful to hear good music and really fun to sit and talk and laugh with our friends.

The best part is that we get to do it again. There is another concert in December and we just happen to have tickets. I can hardly wait.

Tonight's Quote

2007-11-01T20:22:00.000-05:00

"The eyes are the groin of the head"

-Dwight Schrute

Happy Halloween!

2007-11-01T12:38:00.000-05:00

These should be illegal

2007-10-29T18:46:00.000-05:00

1. Getting up at 330 am. Yes, I do it now. No, I don't like it. But, for the next three weeks, that is when I have to get up to be at clinical on time. I am in the last stretch of school and will be done in three weeks. Some days I feel like I just can't make it. Other days I am hopeful and excited. Most days I am just plain tired.

2. Taking a Gym Class. Yes, I am 26 years old. No, I don't like it. But, for the next seven and a half weeks I have to go. It is a requirement for he RN program at MCC and I have to have it completed before I can get on the waiting list. On the bright side, I am skipping my second class (why would they schedule a class on Halloween, anyways?)

Interesting Menu Choice

2007-10-22T16:16:00.000-05:00

Today my mother-in-law, Debbie, had hernia surgery. The surgery went well and she is home recovering and hopefully resting like she should. I was there with Rob's dad, Tom. After we found out that the surgery went well, we decided to go to the cafe' to get some lunch.

At the Grill, there were several options to choose from...hamburgers, cheeseburgers, grilled cheese, gardenburgers and the one that still has me scratching my head: a vegetarian chicken sandwich.

I am not quite sure how this is possible. Is the chicken that was killed for the sandwich a vegetarian? Is it a chicken sandwich with vegetables, minus the chicken? I almost ordered it out of curiosity, but decided on the hamburger instead.

Don't be an idiot changed my life...

2007-10-19T14:15:00.001-05:00

"Whenever I am about to do something I think, 'would an idiot do that?'

If they would, I do NOT do that thing."

-Dwight Shcrute

Help

2007-10-18T10:04:00.000-05:00

So I have had this goal for a few months now. It was to memorize the words to American Pie (the song, not the movie). Yes, I do have some time on my hands while driving back and forth to Grand Rapids. Anyhow, I finally have the words in my head to all eight and a half minutes worth of the song.

There's just one problem.

I still have no idea what the stinking song is about. I know, I know...something about when Buddy Holly died. But what does the rest of it mean? You would think after listening to it hundreds of times, I would have it figured out, but no luck. So if anyone out there has some insight, I would greatly appreciate it.

Texan Rob

2007-10-17T08:28:00.000-05:00

Rob is in Texas right now. Work asked him yesterday to leave this morning. Thank God for the blessing of my friend Kerry who always seems to help us out with they boys when we need her. I still have evening clinicals this week, so she will take care of our boys while we are gone. Rob will be back late Thursday night, but I will miss him and, of course, worry about him while he is gone.

Rainy Sunday

2007-10-14T15:46:00.001-05:00

It has been a cold, rainy day. Although I wanted to take the boys to the park or go for a walk, we are stuck indoors. But, it has been a great day. Ryan and I went grocery shopping, we took naps and I made popcorn for the boys to eat while they watched Cars. Sometimes it is hard to sit still for more than two minutes, but when I can make myself, I always have a great time. ( I have to be honest, though. I also did laundry, vacuumed the floors and did the dishes...I just can't help myself).

Ryan's First Fish (and other fun weekend pics)

2007-10-10T12:49:00.001-05:00

Yup, Ryan caught his first fish this weeked. We were at my parents house for my mom's birthday and Grandpa taught Ryan how to really catch a fish.

No, we didn't keep it, it is safely back in the lake, but Ryan was excited about capturing it.

Noah learned how to climb up and go down the slide by himself. It was hard to just let him do it (my mind goes through all the ways he could get hurt) but I am glad I did. He did a great job and had so much fun.

Ryan's Trike-A-Thon

2007-10-08T14:57:00.000-05:00

On Friday, Ryan participated in a Trike-A-Thon to raise money for St. Judes Hospital. We did the best we could to explain to him that we were raising money for sick children. I think he eventually understood (this weekend he built a "hospital" with his legos and said it was for the sick kids at St. Judes).

Anyways, he raised close to $300 and he completed five laps. All of the kids had a great time and we will find out on Friday how much money was raised by the whole group.

I can take a breather...

2007-10-08T08:53:00.000-05:00

I just took what I think was the hardest test I have ever taken. I thought I was prepared, but wont really know until I get my grade later today. But, since it is done, I can relax. At least for about a day.

So here I am, on my break at school, going through blogger world, trying to catch up on my friends lives. I see to little of them these days, so I have to settle for reading about them.

And, to update you on my life, I am in the countdown phase of school. I have six weeks left. Three more tests, two more final exams. The last four weeks will be the hardest, with clinical starting at 6am three days a week in Grand Rapids, but I am starting to feel like I can make it. That will probably change tomorrow, but as of today, my outlook is good.

The boys are doing well. Healthy for the moment, and growing like weeds. Noah is finally what I would consider walking. Yes, he still crawls, but he walks more. Ryan is writing a lot. Mostly names, but he can write about anything we can spell for him. It is impressive and fun. He has two field trips coming up in the next month, one of which I can attend. It is going to be an exciting fall.

Proof that I am a slow learner...

2007-10-04T11:12:00.000-05:00

Rob, the boys and I were at Rob's grandmas house a few weeks ago on Friday night. Noah spilled milk all over his clothes, so I changed him and put the wet clothes into the diaper bag. We got home that night, put the kids to bed and watched tv for a while.

In the middle of the next week, I got into my car in the morning noticing that it smelled like a poopy diaper. I scanned the car, but didn't see one. I drove to school and eventually didn't notice the smell. After class, I got into my car again, and there was the smell. I checked under seats and still couldn't find anything. I got home that night and told Rob about the smell, but left it at that.

The next morning, I got into the car and it smelled even worse. I saw the diaper bag on the floor, opened it and almost passed out. It was those milky clothes. Phew, I solved the case. I put the clothes into the hamper and put an air freshener into the car.

Early this week, I noticed that the boy's room smelled like a poopy diaper. I thought maybe Rob had changed Noah's diaper and it fell behind the changing table. I got the boys ready for the day, took them to Amber's house and came home to find the dirty diaper. I looked behind the dresser, under the crib, under Ryan's bed, in the toys, but couldn't find anything. Oh, well. I'll start the laundry. I opened up the closet to get the hamper, and there was that smell, even stronger.

Yup, it was those dang milky clothes, sitting at the bottom of the hamper that I had forgotten about. It takes me a while sometimes...

Thanks Grandpa Tom and Grandma Debbie

2007-10-03T22:10:00.001-05:00

We love our new tractor!!!

My Baby

2007-09-28T20:40:00.001-05:00

Rob took Noah to the doctor for a well child checkup today while I was at work. Of course, since I wasn't there everything went wrong. He has to have allergy testing, she is worried about his eye (that it might be lazy) and he has a swollen lymph node that she is giving him antibiotics for. I feel terrible for missing the appointment and terrible that he can't just be healthy. I fear all of the things this could lead to. The possibilities of what could be wrong and the knowledge of the invasiveness of allergy testing. I am also frustrated by the fact that we have to add two more medications to his daily routine. I am at work, my mind always drifting toward him and all I want to do is go home and hold him. I know once I get there, he will be asleep for the night, and yes, I will be tempted to wake him. But I wont. Not tonight, anyways.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

2007-09-23T21:10:00.000-05:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I love fall? I think I look forward to fall more than any other season. I love the colors, the smells and the cool, crisp air. I look forward to sweaters, jeans, warm socks, soft blankets, watching football and watching Rob rake the yard.

Then, of course, there is the food. We get to drink cider and eat apples, donuts, chili and roast. I can make hot tea again, also.

I get to dress my boys up for Halloween (and eat lots of candy) and then, less than a month later, we get together with family for Thanksgiving.

I love fall. If only winter wasn't so close behind...

What Does This Mean??

2007-09-22T07:27:00.000-05:00

In the last couple of weeks, I have made the following purchases:

1. Ladies Home Journal Magazine
2. Anti-Wrinkle Face Lotion
3. Hemorrhoid Cream
4. Bran Flakes
5. About 37 Diet Cokes

I'm too young to get old!

Poor Ryan

2007-09-18T22:03:00.000-05:00

Ryan has been sick this week. Not sure what is going on though. He has had a fever since Sunday, but no other obvious symptoms. He sometimes complains of a headache, but that is about it. He is really sad about missing school this week (I only wish I could miss school). My mom has been a big help, though. As "luck" would have it, she is home recovering from back surgery and Ryan is just old enough for her to take care of from the couch. Her friend Ann is also there, so she helped with Ryan also. Hopefully he will shake this thing soon...I think he is getting stir crazy.

TJ Ellis, you'll appreciate this...

2007-09-15T18:08:00.000-05:00

I picked up my mom a couple of weeks ago from Fremont and brought her back to Muskegon for a hair appointment. Ryan was with us. While we were sitting there waiting for her, Ryan played with some animals and read books. He got quiet for a few seconds and then asked "Mamma, is zero a number?" I wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. I vaguely remember that lecture in Advanced Algebra, but obviously didn't pay enough attention. Maybe you can explain it to him, TJ.

Why I Want to be a Nurse

2007-09-14T14:03:00.001-05:00

The last week and a half, I have had a patient named "Matt". He is a 44 year old Air Force Colonel who graduated from the University of Michigan. He was in Arizona, playing raquetball, when he suddenly went into Cardiac Arrest. He suffered a Brain Injury from prolonged CPR (and lack of oxygen to the brain). He is now in a pre-vegitative state, cognitively impaired and basicly lays in bed all day, unable to speak or move on his own.

After my first day caring for him, I knew he needed some stimulation. Since he can't communicate, I thought it would be a good idea to read to him. I borrowed a book about a Michigan football coach from my father-in-law (but got it from Deb) and planned to read it to him.

In our pre-conference, I told my classmates what my plan was and felt a little silly about it because I didn't know if he could even hear me. But I read. And read and read.

Two days later, I finally met his wife. I was able to spend some time talking to her and found out that she, too, was in the Air Force. She, however, was a graduate from Michigan State =). Anyways, they have two children 12 and 13 and they live in Battle Creek. She is torn between their scheule and spending time with her husband. She talked a lot about him when I was with her. Anyways, when she found out I was reading to him, she started to cry. "Thank you, thank you", she said. "You don't know how much it means to me that someone is spending time like that with him. He really needs that". I almost cried as well.

Although I don't know if the reading has done anything for him, I know that it has made a world of difference to her. That one moment has made all the work and sacrifice of nursing school worth it.

It's Only Fair

2007-09-11T21:50:00.001-05:00

Ryan had his day in the sun on his first day of school. Here is Noah on Ryan's first day of school...

When Life is Too Crazy

2007-09-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

I finally got to spend time with my best friend tonight. It had to be while grocery shopping, but it was nice to talk and laugh together. I hadn't seen her in what feels like forever because of work and school. Only ten more weeks and I promise to be a better friend...

The End Is In Sight

2007-09-08T19:21:00.001-05:00

My mom had her back surgery yesterday. Everything went well. They even started her surgery early. She spent the night in the hospital and is home resting on the couch as I write. Her instructions are very strict: lay flat for the next week. After that, she can spend a limited time up, but still mostly laying flat. But hopefully, within the next two months, she will be feeling much better and will be back to work. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel.

The end is in sight for me, also. Only one more night of work and then I can sleep like a normal human being. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

What I Missed

2007-09-06T21:51:00.000-05:00

while I was at school tonight...

Ryan, My Big Boy

2007-09-06T10:45:00.001-05:00

Ryan had his first day of preschool on Wednesday. He loved it. Rob and I were able to bring him (no, we didn't cry) and Miss Amber picked him up. Amber called me after picking him up and told me she got a lot of praises from the teachers about Ryan. He was an excellent "student" and had a great day. I can hardly believe that he is this old, but at the same time I am excited about the opportunities that he has.

In other news, I was able to switch to an evening clinical. This will do a few things for me.

a) I wont have to get up at 4:30 am to be at my site on time
b) It will free me up to do fun things like bring Ryan to his first day of preschool
c) It will save a whole day of driving to Grand Rapids and give me Fridays off
d) It will take some pressure off Rob in the mornings.

I was a little scared to do this because I wont see my family three nights a week, but so far, I am loving it. Don't worry, I will have to get up at 4:30am for the last four weeks of my program.

the pictures i promised...

2007-09-03T20:16:00.001-05:00

Here are some pictures of Ryan at the Children's Museum.

Today was our last "yippee" for the summer. We spent the day at my parents house hanging outside by the water. We relaxed, played, took our last boat ride and had hot dogs on the grill. I'm going to miss summer...

Tomorrow, bright and early, I start my last semester in the PN program. Eleven more weeks of torture, but I know it will be worth it. I have to keep telling myself that, anyways.

It's Almost Over

2007-08-31T14:11:00.000-05:00

My vacation, that is. Ryan, Noah and I spent our last day of vacation together today. We played with cars, went for a walk, played "soccer" at the park and played with play-dough. I am sad that my break is coming to an end. It has been wonderful to spend extra time with my boys and I know the next several weeks will by very busy.

Ryan and I went to the Grand Rapids Childrens Museum yesterday with Grandma Bailey. Grandma had the camera and has all of the pictures, but I will post some soon. Ryan had a ton of fun and I know we will go back. I highly recommend it for any one with kids over the age of 1.

A special Thank You to Lindsey for checking my blog after a whole year of not writing. Thanks for believing in me, Lindsey!!!

Can you believe it???

2007-08-29T21:16:00.000-05:00

I am actually blogging. I have been on vacation from school for a couple of weeks. I have completed several projects around the house that have been nagging me for the past year. I have painted, cleaned, organized, scrubbed and rearranged. It feels good to have accomplished so much, but now I am faced with much sadness.

I found out yesterday that a mom of one of Ryan's friends at daycare has cancer. Everything is still at the beginning stages, but I do know that it is some rare type of lymphoma. She had a bone marrow test done and will get results next week. These results will determine the stage of cancer and treatment options. Tanya is only 32 years old and Caden (Ryans friend that he will be going to preschool with this fall) is 4. Please pray for this family. Tanya is the carrier of health benefits for the family (her husband is self employed) and will have to be off work for quite some time. She will have to be treated in Ann Arbor since the cancer is so rare. Caden doesn't really understand what is going on. I can barely stand the thought of him without a mother.

I keep thinking about her, unable to imagine the fear she must be facing. For herself, for her son, for her husband. I wish I could do something for her, but cant think of anything that come remotely close to helping her...

Ryan and I start school next week. It will be fun adventure for Ryan, but a difficult eleven weeks for me. My schedule is even more intense than last semester. But I am excited. I will graduate from the LPN program in mid-November!

Pics

2006-08-06T20:05:00.000-05:00

Life has been pretty busy lately. I went back to work, Noah is getting older and a little more demanding and Ryan is as active as ever. He recently had a UTI and his CBC came back kind of wierd, so we have to take him back for more tests. Ryan still loves his little brother and does really well with him. Noah went for his 2 month checkup and shots and is perfect.

We are up at my parents house this week because they are in Alaska. The weather hasn't cooperated every day, but Ryan is having fun on the beach when he can get out. I am starting to get restless and thinking about how I want to go home and clean my house, but I try every day to just relax and enjoy myself.

This post was mainly to show off some cute pictures. I have some more, but they are on the other camera. Maybe someday I'll find time to get them posted...

Family Life

2006-07-02T13:30:00.000-05:00

Well, we survived the first month of Noah's life. We still need more sleep, but things are going well. Noah has come to love his boppy pillow and sometimes his bouncy seat. I love these things because they allow me to function while he is awake. Our big Ryan is sitting out on the front steps right now drinking a Wesco slushie, watching Rob mow the lawn. He seems to really love his little brother and continues to amaze me with the things that come out of his mouth. He already knows his ABC's, how to count and helps me pick up the house. It is hard to believe that he was once as small as Noah. Rob is still super busy at work and I always wish we saw eachother more, but he is somehow able to be a great dad and wonderful friend.

Updates

2006-06-07T08:13:00.000-05:00

Noah and Ryan are doing well. Noah has been doing really well on his schedule and sleeps for 4 to 5 hour stretches at night. (Once and a while there is a three hour one, but I can't complain). He has started his eat, play, sleep routine every three hours during the day and seems to be a pro. I love holding him and looking at him.

Ryan has been a really good big brother, but hasn't quite been himself since this huge change in his l ife. He seems to be a little more sensitive and tries to push us more than ever. But, he has done some things that have shocked me (in a good way). Yesterday after breakfast, I walked into the kitchen to find him scraping his breakfast scraps into the garbage and putting his plate, fork and cup into the sink. He also is good about throwing Noah's diapers away for us and still "lubs" Noah's hair.

I am still a little in shock that we have two babies. It is wierd when ever I hear Rob say "the boys". But last night as I was holding Noah and Rob was playing with Ryan, I couldn't stop thinking about how blessed we were and how much I loved being in that moment.

And baby makes four

2006-06-01T19:38:00.000-05:00

Life has been one huge adjustment the last week. Obviously the schedule adjustment is a biggie, but there have been others as well. Ryan has had to adjust to not being our whole world and share us with his baby brother. Rob and I have had to adjust to having someone completely dependent on us again while at the same time watching our big boy dress himself and help us take care of Noah. Noah has had to adjust to life outside of me...getting cold, hungry and messy. Things have been going well. Almost too well. Noah has been a great baby, sleeping at night for the most part and not being too fussy. Ryan has been very loving toward his new brother and Rob and I are doing well on much less sleep than we are used to. I am so thankful for this time. And for digital cameras....

Noah Benjamin

2006-05-30T11:32:00.000-05:00

Finally, Noah decided to come see us. He was born on May 26th at 7:42am. After a long night of contracting, getting antibiotics and not sleeping, he came quickly after 6 am in the morning. I was so relieved to have him out and so glad to see him. He is nothing that I was picturing. He has blonde hair, I pictured dark brown, he was much smaller than I ever expected - 6lbs, 9oz, 18.5 inches. And I love him more than I ever thought I could. I miss him when I haven't held him for a while. The last two mornings, I woke up before he did and it took everything in me not to wake him up so I could hold him. Ryan is doing really well with him and always says how much he "lubs" Noah's hair. Life seems perfect right now.

Andrea was able to come and help out with delivery and I am so thankful that she was willing to be there. I am also grateful to Amy who helped us out with Ryan the night before. My mom, mother-in-law and Missy also were there and I was so glad that they were able to share this experience with us.

Now the fun part...here are a couple of my favorite pictures...

Ice Cream

2006-05-15T18:42:00.000-05:00

The two main things my brain focuses on right now are Noah and ice cream. Most of the time I think about Noah...when he will come, what he will look like, when he will come, etc. When I am not thinking about him, I am thinking about ice cream. Lately I love vanilla with bananas and chocolate syrup. I can't wait until it is ice cream time tonight.

Andrea was a really nice friend tonight and came over to check my cervix. The stats are: dilated to almost 3, 60% effaced and the baby is head down at a -2 station. Yay for the head down and yay for the almost 3. Thanks for the info, Andrea!

Ryan

2006-05-14T14:25:00.000-05:00

My little Ryan is turning out to have two personalities. On one hand he is two, and good at it. But, he shows this sweet side every once and a while that makes my heart melt. On Friday night, Rob's Grandma gave him a one dollar bill for his piggy bank. He put it in his pocket, which is his favorite thing to do with money. On Saturday morning, I retrieved the bill from his pocket and gave it to him and told him to put it in his bank. He said no, he wants to put it into Noah's bank. So he did.

Yup, I'm still pregnant. I am trying not to be, but my body won't listen. At the doctors last week I was dialated to about 2 and was 60% effaced. Sounds good, but I realize I can stay that way for a long time. Until things start happeneing, I guess I have a good place to put my drinking glass....

Noah Benjamin

2006-04-30T18:21:00.000-05:00

With only about 5 weeks to go (I'm obviously hoping for less), Noah is an obsession in my mind. His arrival seems to be the only thing I can think about. Everything from how he will look and how big he will be to just desperately wanting him out so I can get comfortable again. I am getting sick of getting up all night to go to the bathroom and very tired of feeling like I can't breathe. I also really want to hold him and kiss his face and I want him to meet his brother. We talk about Noah to Ryan a lot and sometimes Ryan just changes the subject. Maybe because it has taken so long for the reality or because he doesn't want to deal with the "competition".

My to do list seems to be growing daily as I am constantly thinking of things to add to it. Rob doesn't know it yet, but I have some things on my list for him also. Maybe this week I'll get some things done. I am only working one full day and two half days, assuming I don't get asked to work more. I am looking forward to spending the time with Ryan and hope the weather is good. I have high hopes for the work I can get done in the backyard. Oh, yeah, maybe I should add the backyard to my list, too.

Fun day

2006-04-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

I went to Grandville with my mom today to do a little shopping. I get birthday money from her every year and we decided to spend it together this year. She is getting ready to go to Mexico with my dad and wanted to get a few last minute shirts and I wanted to get some clothes to have ready for me once I loose this belly. Of course I kept every receipt, just in case.

After our fun day of shopping, I came home to a really happy Ryan. He was laughing and playing and we eventually took him for a walk. Not the usual walk, though. INstead of he being in his stroller, he walked and pulled a little wagon with his dog in it. It was really cute and nice to be together as a family. I am not sure what will happen tonight, b ut I am looking forward to spending time with Rob and relaxing. I love the weekend!

To do...

2006-04-26T10:24:00.000-05:00

It is now April 26th and I am knocking on the door of being 8 months pregnant. I am starting to feel the pressure (not just in my belly). I have so many things I want to get done, but between carrying around a bowling ball in my stomach and work and school and Ryan, I am finding it hard to get everything accomplished. I am finishing up my CE credits for my insurance license today, a project that has been looming oveer my head for the past month. I had the day off yesterday and packed Noah's hospital bag and did some organizing in the boys' rooms. There are still many things I want to do, but I suppose the world will not come to an end if they don't get finished.

I am getting very excited about the end of my pregnancy. I am more excited this time around because I know that all this discomfort is worth what comes out of it. I want to hold my baby and see what he looks llike. I am excited about Ryans reaction, too. And I am excited about this great excuse to not work for most of the summer. It will be a hard adjustment again, I'm sure, but one that will come with many rewards.

Ryan makes me laugh

2006-04-03T09:19:00.000-05:00

I was just reading Rob's blog and remembered a couple of things that Ryan does that are really funny. He covers up his white bear and Pooh in his bed after he wakes up before he comes down stairs. Last night when I was trying to get him to go to bed (it was a struggle I think because of the time change), he would tuck his bears in, come out of his room, shut his door and make his way downstairs. Eventually I would hear him in this process and make my way upstairs to intercept him, and he would hear me coming and just lay down on the floor with his eyes closed. Maybe he thought he tricked me into thinking he was asleep, but I knew better. After a couple of times doing that, he decided to not come out of his room, but instead bring his stool over to the lightswitch and stand on it to turn the lights on. He soon saw that I was getting frustrated with him and knew he was in trouble. He sat in my lap for a minute, then crawled into bed on his own. It is strange to see his mind work that way. It was as if he didn't want to be in trouble or disappoint me, so he finally did what I wanted. Either way, he is getting too smart for me.

Seven Months!

2006-04-02T09:05:00.000-05:00

It's finally April. I am seven months pregnant! Hopefully things go fast from this point. I have another four weeks scheduled at the hospital, but my schedule should slow down after that. We spent some time with Ryan and Angela last night and got to see thier beautiful kitchen. Thinking about Angela only having about a month to go made me a little jealous, but I can't wait to meet thier little one either. I'm feeling tired after another busy weekend, but that seems to be the norm now. Ryan continues to make us laugh and is turning out to be such a wonderful two year old. Looks like I get to dread the terrible threes...

Noah Benjamin

2006-03-26T10:34:00.000-05:00

Well, aparently it's official...baby Peoples #2 has a name...Noah Benjamin Peoples. Rob and I have been going back and forth between a couple of names and Rob made the announcement about the name. Honestly, I don't know if I was quite ready, but now that we are using this name to talk about the baby, I feel much better. We got a lot done this weekend for Noah. We bought him a box of size one diapers and some wipes, we bought him a boppy and a formula dispenser. I think the only things I still need are some burp cloths (Ryans were pretty dirty), some new washcloths and some newborn diapers. It is much cheaper this time around to collect everything the baby will need. Thank goodness for that!

Noah's room looks really cute now, except for the eliptical trainer sitting in it. Rob still has to move that downstairs. I got out all of Ryan's 0-3 month clothes and put them in his drawers. I also organized the other sizes into separate boxes to make it easier later. Is this called nesting? Anyways, I love sitting in his room and thinking about what it will be like to have him here. I can hardly wait.

Ryan Updates

2006-03-25T10:09:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of Ryans second birthday party. We had lots of friends and family there and I know he had a great time. He loved all of his presents and really loved his cake. I think his favorite present was the box is coloring desk came in. He has really grown up a lot since he turned two. He seems to be talking a lot more and two new tricks came up this week. He is counting to eleven and this morning he went pee in the toilet. My baby isn't going to be a baby much longer.

12 More Weeks

2006-03-14T16:16:00.000-05:00

I had a doctors appointment today. As I was waiting in the room for Dr. McDonald to get there, I was thinking about how much more time I had to wait before the baby would come. 12 more weeks was what I kept thinking, but I don't know if I can wait that long. In reality, that time will go by fast and it really isn't that long of a time. But I want it to be over now. I want to hold our little boy. I want Ryan to meet his brother. I want to know what it will be like with Ryan and a baby. I want to wear my jeans and feel like I can breathe. I want to see what he looks like. I know it will come soon, but I just can't wait.

Panama

2006-03-11T07:50:00.000-05:00

This is Rob and I in Panama. I thought that since neither of us have really blogged about our trip, I would at least leave a picture of our burned selves. We did have a great time and we were able to sleep and rest a lot. It was very warm (in the 90's) the whole week. I was so glad to get home to see Ryan, though. I missed him a lot.

I made it through my busy week and it felt wierd to sleep in until 6:55 when I was getting up at 3:30. I do think I need a nap, though. I am thankful, no matter what my schedule, to be working somewhere and to have a job that I really enjoy!

Soooo Tired

2006-03-09T13:26:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness it is Thursday. I am very tired and just want to go to bed. Rob is working late tonight, so I have to chase after Ryan for a couple of hours before I can. Don't get me wrong, I miss him a lot, but my eyes keep telling me they want to stay closed for a while. Not a good idea to blink.

I did a newborn screen on a 24 hour old baby girl today. I love OB and every time I am up there, I want our baby to come out. How wonderful will it be to hold a tiny baby again. I now know that those first few weeks go by so quickly...hopefully I will be able to remember that this time. I know that Ryan will be wonderful with they baby. He is always so sweet with Anna and the twins. He will be a good big brother.

Crazy Week

2006-03-07T14:03:00.000-05:00

This is my first week as a Hackley employee. I started my shift at 5am this morning...now I am at the insurance office working until 5pm and then off to school until 6:30. I am a little tired already. I did morning rounds this morning and saw my first death. I was really saddened by this man's passing, but it didn't seem to phase any of the other phlebotomists. Is this something you ever get used to?

Ryan has been such a sweet boy lately. It seems that he has grown up over night. Most of his communication now is in the form of talking and he amazes me every day saying such grown up things. I like this stage a lot. He is really in love with Anna Morse, he even whispered sweet nothings to her the other night. Well, maybe just "hi, Anna", very quietly, but I am sure he is in love. I am really excited to see how he interacts with his new brother.

It feels like I am getting bigger by the day, but I am encouraged. I am finally in third trimester, so the rest of my pregnancy should go quickly. It also means that summer should be here soon! According to the research, my baby is 2 pounds already and is over a foot long. I can't wait to see him...

My new job

2006-02-08T12:36:00.000-05:00

Hackley offered me a lab position on Tuesday. It is just a relief position right now, but that is a really good start with the baby coming and everything. Once I get my intership hours in, which should be the beginning of March, I will start my official training and finally get a paycheck. It is kind of funny...with all the excitement, I didn't even ask what they pay their releif phlebs...maybe I should find out.

Rob and I leave in a few days for our Panama vacation. I am feeling very sad about leaving Ryan for such a long time, but also feeling very excited about 90 degree weather. Hopefully I can come back with a tan and somehow catch up on sleep.

Smells and such

2006-01-26T12:34:00.000-05:00

All you nurses out there should be able to give me insight into this problem...sometimes after having a really smelly patient, I get a little sick to my stomach (this may be from being pregnant). While I am recovering it makes me really sick to watch someone else poke a patient. The strange thing about this is that it doesn't bother me when I poke someone. I don't quite understand this. Once the sick feeling goes away (which is usually after I can forget about the smell), I can watch without any problems. Why is this?? To date I have poked 108 people and haven't missed any veins in the last couple of days. I am feeling very confident, but also know that there is still a lot to learn. God didn't make anyones arm the same.

On the pregnancy front, I am 147 days pregnant (just under 5 months), and according to ivillage.com, baby is 7.5 inches long and between 13 and 16 ounces. His fingernails are fully grown and his organ systems are becoming more functional. Now if Rob would only give me back my ultrasound CD I could post some pictures!

Names and such

2006-01-24T13:01:00.000-05:00

Rob has this very heated competition of names going on over on his blog. It's fun for him, but what if I have already made up my mind? I suppose Rob should get a vote, but something about tearing and stiches and contractions...anyways, my two favorite names are Noah and Benjamin. Maybe Noah Benjamin or Benjamin Noah. I really loved when I was talking to Ryan about baby names that he said, quite loudly, "Benny". Not so great for an adult name, but super cute for a baby. Anyhow, I wast ready for the challenge of name picking. After all, I am a planner. Shouldn't I have had this figured out ten years ago?

Another Boy

2006-01-20T16:07:00.000-05:00

Well, we found out that we are having another boy. Of course, I wanted to have a girl, but as soon as I saw this little one inside of me, it didn't matter. Ryan will have so much fun with a little brother and between Ryan's clothes and Isaac and Will's clothes, I shouldn't have to buy too much. Besides that, Ryan has already bullied Isaac and Will, so now they will have someone to bully. I love knowing who is inside of me, even though he doesn't have a name yet. No more "it" and "the baby"...we can now say "he". I often think about what he will look like in comparison to Ryan and really wonder what his personality will be like. I'll know that soon, but it is hard to wait. I am officially halfway through my preganancy and very thankful for that.

In other news, I am working as a phlebotomy intern at Hackley Hospital (yes, I am on the "SL" of my Mercy nursing friends!!) I finished my 90th draw today and officially only need 30 more. Since I have only completed 35 of my 120 hours, I am quite sure I will get those draws. It is going well and I am hoping to find a job once I am done, but no one likes to hire pregnant women...maybe it is because they are too hormonal.